New trolley problem: It’s the same as the original, with five people on the main track and one on the side track, but now if you pull the lever you have to go to the funeral of the worker on the side track who died as a result of your actions and give a speech after the other eulogies in which you justify your choice to the family of the deceased. They’re allowed to ask questions afterwards.
If you don’t pull the lever, no one will blame you for anything, you don’t have to go to any funerals, and also you get a week of paid vacation for bereavement.
ahem hello hi yes. i am sure whatever-his-name-is was a great man, blah blah blah, listen. i didn’t make any decision. when i was standing at the levers, i picked the secret third option, which is to opt out. i flipped a coin to decide which lever to pull and i was so mad at the fact that i was put in this lose-lose situation i forgot which lever did what — which is to say — it was a truly double-blind uncontaminated random even sampling, or whatever. not my problem. it was quick though. i thought the wheels would just slice him and it would be some horrible elongated bleed-out. Holy shit, dude, no, homeboy got sucked under & chewed up. That trolley did not even notice. Truly some shit that would get taken down by like, liveleak. I lost my lunch. Idk what’s even in that casket but it’s screwed shut. Ok amen, asses to asses, dust2 to dust2, would someone please point to where the bathrooms are.
oof new dashboard update just hit me i can see why everyone’s been complaining
(Source: youtube.com)
qdoba gave me a diet coke by mistake so i drank it and now i think my insides are folding in on themselves
guy who plays albums on mute, it was never really about sound for him as much as feeling a sense of progression through a series of named durations
(via twitchytyrant)
Motorola “edge?” Sorry if i wanted a phone that displayed my fetish id buy the android slap me and treat me like a dog with my hands tied behind my back and pee on me and laugh about it and slap me around some more like a good little dog 2022 5g. With one terrorbyte
